♡kitty genovese♡
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yours for always
look at me
look at my life
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and now that you don't have to be perfect...
you can be good.

nonbinarymermaid:

epic-vines:

vine by: Garrison Sigmun

I AM LAUGHING SO HARD IT HURTS

visiblecc1:

fuglypudding:

if watermelon exists why doesn’t earthmelon, firemelon and airmelon??

The elemelons

demon: i possessed you
me: get the fuck out
demon: damn...aight...rude ass bitch...i just need a place to stay my girl kicked me out and i aint got no money...
me: shit man, you can stay but don't be spinning my head like an owl and shit
moldykins:

please don’t tease carnivorous plants like this!!!! it takes enormous amounts of their energy to dissolve the insects that they need to survive and it takes days to process them!!! when you do this you’re wasting all of their energy and pretty much starving them!!!!!

moldykins:

please don’t tease carnivorous plants like this!!!! it takes enormous amounts of their energy to dissolve the insects that they need to survive and it takes days to process them!!! when you do this you’re wasting all of their energy and pretty much starving them!!!!!

"A blowjob isn’t given with your mouth, it’s given with your heart"
— My boyfriend trying to get head (via guy)

free-booty:

I don’t mean to interrupt people I just randomly remember things and get really excited I’m sorry

r0sekanaya:

filling out a job application

“are you available for a Skype interview?”

….

image

“no.”

thepokemonaffliction:

why cant i lose weight as easily as i lose friends